Vaughan Larsen, Interviewed by Conner Gordon
In any family photo album, there is more at work than memory alone. The photos contained in its pages also stake out a particular set of values–the connections that hold a family together, the events worth remembering. Of equal importance are the gaps between these photos–the relationships left unsaid, the moments not thought significant enough to preserve.
Looking through their own family’s photographs, Vaughan Larsen took inspiration from these gaps to reimagine the history they found. In “Rites,” the series that grew from this reimagining, Larsen takes on the personas of their family members to place themself in moments often unavailable to people who identify as queer. In doing so, Larsen does more than reframe their own family’s past–they imagine a future in which the hallmarks of belonging are open to all.
CG: Could you tell me a little bit about how you got started on this project?
VL: It all started originally with a portrait of my grandmother in her wedding dress. I had this urge to recreate it, but I wasn’t really sure why at the time. I had seen the original photograph when I was visiting my grandparents for their fiftieth wedding anniversary, where she had the photo out on display. I had made the self-portrait response in 2015, and I was looking back at it a lot realizing it was related to my work now, because I was starting to work more with gender and LGBTQ identity within society. I realized that urge I had, which I wasn’t really sure why I had it, was now making a full circle. I realized, “Oh, I want to continue doing that.”
CG: Jumping off that original idea you had, I’d love to hear more about what your process looked like–everything from how you chose the images you chose to recreate to what actually recreating those looked like for you.
VL: I first had the Self-Portrait as my Grandmother on her Wedding Day, and then I started looking at my parents’ wedding photo a lot. My parents are divorced–they have been basically my entire life–so when I saw my parents’ wedding photo, it looked so mysterious to me. Being drawn to that image and my family history, I started looking at other family photos. I would sit down with family members to look through their photo albums, knowing they would have moments of ceremony or tradition in them. A lot of the times I was looking for specific moments: weddings, prom photos, things that most people can relate to from their own personal experience.
When I first started making the photographs, I felt the need to recreate them identically to the original. But as time went on, I noticed they were more effective if I didn’t do that, and if I took my own liberty to switch up the experience to fit my own perspective as a queer-identifying person. For example, in Self-Portrait as My Mother As A Cheerleader, with the ball hitting my face, that didn’t happen in the original image of her. I was getting more specific with how I was talking about my personal experience in relation to my heterosexual parents’, rather than strictly recreating the photo.
CG: That’s really interesting. I’d love to talk about that particular photo, because it’s one I’ve always been drawn to in the project, and I had no idea that it was improvised. I’d love to hear your decisions behind that.
VL: The very first one I did, after Self-Portrait Of My Grandmother On Her Wedding Day, was Self-Portrait With My Grandmother, which is a couple photo of my grandparents. The image is a cliché portrait in a lighting studio, she’s leaning into him, and her eyes are closed in the original. She blinked; she has a tendency to do that for all photographs taken of her. But she had her eyes closed in the photo, so I did the same thing. Everyone was thinking that I changed that detail, and how funny it was, because it’s almost saying that I can’t really experience that moment in a different way.
I was thinking more about how I could play with that in the other scenarios, and how I could have a conversation with the original photograph by altering it. So with Self-Portrait Of My Mother As A Cheerleader, in the shoot I first was posing exactly as her, with my fist under my chin and elbow on my knee, smiling for the camera. Then I was thinking more of how I could have a conversation with my mother in the original photograph and have a conversation with society’s expectations. I settled on the football as a nod to the pressure I felt to be in more masculine sports while growing up. The sport was kind of throwing itself at me, so I wanted the ball to represent that pressure and the people that put me in it.
CG: I really like that idea, of having a conversation with your mother through that image. I’d love to hear a bit more, especially since you are in these images and they are self-portraits, how you navigate that line between depicting yourself and depicting or riffing off the subjects you are portraying.
VL: I’ve actually been struggling with that. I originally viewed them simply as self-portraits of just me, but as time has gone on, especially as I’m studying how they dress and present themselves, their body language, I am learning to see myself as these people, during the shoot especially. It’s really interesting, because all the people in the original photographs all still living, and it almost feels as if I’m getting closer to them, in a way. It feels like I’m studying this moment that they lived through so thoroughly, and doing that with all the other moments I’m studying so thoroughly, I’m seeing the sides of these family members that I hadn’t really seen before. Including the process of finding the original photograph with them there, talking with them about their memories, I’ve already learned so many things about my mom’s childhood that I otherwise wouldn’t have. She’ll remember her personal moment just from looking at my photograph unaccompanied by the image of her, because she’ll recognize the setting and emotion. The same goes for my aunt, it’s been really interesting.
I’m also struggling with if I view myself as each one of these relatives while I’m making the photograph, or if I’m just this one character that is going through all of these milestones. I’m still figuring out how to answer that for myself, because I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m thinking of this one character I’m playing, or if I’m playing a different character for each. I think that’ll answer itself as the project progresses.
CG: It’s really interesting that all the people who are in the original images are still alive. I’d love to hear a little more about the way that the original subjects of these photographs have reacted to the work, especially how they’ve reacted to you altering them.
VL: A really good example is Self-Portrait of My Grandfather. He’s kneeling down, posing in front of a camouflage background, and he’s in an army green jumpsuit with military boots, holding a gun. In my response to this image, I made sure to wear a lot of jewelry, had my nails painted, and had a full face of makeup on. I was commenting on the transgender ban with the military, but I was a little nervous that he would take it in a disrespectful way when he saw the finished photograph. When I talked to him about it and showed him the photo, he said he was honored that I had recreated the photograph, which made it feel even more special to me.
Like I mentioned earlier, it was building a relationship with these people I hadn’t really anticipated at all. Overall, my family has been extremely supportive from the very beginning of the process of each photograph: looking through the family albums, talking to them about their memories, and showing them the finished product. I’m very fortunate that the family members I have are supportive.
CG: Another thing I find really interesting in these images is how you’re playing with belonging in situations where you feel like you haven’t been able to belong, or someone who identifies as queer might not have been able to belong. It’s interesting to me how that fits into contemporary debates about what it means to be part of the LGBTQ+ community. I remember when the Supreme Court case came down in favor of marriage equality, so many people were rightfully celebrating the right to marry as this incredible milestone. But I also remember questions at the time of people asking, “should we try and fit into these traditional, heteronormative notions of love and family, or should we be trying to create our own narratives of what love and community looks like for us?”
That’s just one example, but I see a lot of echoes of that in your work, where you’re playing with belonging in these very traditional, performative moments, but also riffing on them and making something new. I’d love to hear you speak to that play between belonging and creating something new in these photos.
VL: I’m not really sure, because I see this as rewriting history, in a way. For queer people to look at these “family photographs,” they don’t necessarily have people like this in their personal family archive to look up to. I’m seeing this as a way to create a new history for them, as well. Like you said, with legalization of gay marriage, a lot of people acted as if that was the final battle, but that’s why I’m making this project, because it’s not the end-all goal. There are so many things within the norms and expectations of society that still are not readily available to LGBTQ-identified people. It doesn’t even matter if it’s legal, it matters if it’s socially accepted.
CG: What’s next for this work, and what’s next for you in general?
VL: I’d love to continue this series. When I showed it in my thesis exhibition in the spring, I had the photographs on the wall, a home video I had made, and then I also had a family photo album of snapshot photos taken at various shoots on a disposable camera. I wanted it to feel more real to the viewer, I wanted it to feel as if all these ceremonies and traditions were moments I’ve actually lived through, even if I never have and may never be able to. I’d like to go more in that direction and play with multimedia and installation. I’m also thinking of using family photos from other people’s family archives, or from antique stores, to play more with the cliched idea of expectations of family beyond my own personal family, because then I think it will be more relatable to a wider audience.
As for my personal future, I’ll be staying in Milwaukee until next summer, at least. I feel really comfortable with our community, and I don’t think I’m done here yet. So I would like to continue the project, stay here, and it’s all kind of up in the air right now after that. I’m considering grad school in the future, but I’m not wanting that to start right away.
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